What to say to new dads: a guide

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Obviously, most people who are coming to visit new parents know to ask about the baby, the birth, and mom. However, each of these topics can take a while to discuss, so it’s not surprising that most conversations never even touch on the new dad and his well-being. We’ve found through our own personal experience, though, that just one or two questions or statements can make dads feel much more appreciated. So, if you’re talking to a new dad, or will be visiting a new dad soon, here are a few things you can ask him:

  1. “How are you?” It’s a simple question, but asking this makes a world of difference to a new dad. Everyone asks after the baby and Mom (understandably, of course), but most people don’t even think about asking Dad how he’s doing. If the new dad you know is anything like today’s dad, it’s likely he’s just as sleep-deprived and exhausted as Mom is. (In fact, some would argue that Dads are even more sleep deprived than Moms.) Ask him how he’s doing, and he will appreciate the attention.
  2. “You’re doing a great job.” Dads need encouragement, especially in the early days. He’s still learning to be a father and is most likely shouldering most of the household tasks while Mom is recovering from giving birth. It’s during this period where he’s the most insecure about his parenting abilities and the most stressed out. Telling him what a great father he is will give him a much-needed boost of confidence.
  3. “How’s the experience?”/”What’s fatherhood like for you?” Moms aren’t the only ones who like to talk about how it feels to be a mother. Becoming a father is just as much of a life-changer for men as becoming a mother is for women. Asking a new dad about his experiences so far as a father shows that you acknowledge and recognize the importance of this change for him.
  4. “May I take a picture of you and your baby/of you and your family?” No one wants to look back on their photos one day and find that there are no pictures with Dad or no pictures of the entire family. If you are visiting in person, ask the new parents if they want you to take a picture of them with the baby. They might complain that they look awful, fat, or whatever, but they will thank you later.

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