This post is for all the Dads-to-be! So, you’ve bought the car seat, the stroller, the crib, and you’ve stocked up on diapers, wipes, baby clothes, and almost every baby necessity you can think of. You’ve taken and attended childbirth and baby care classes with your partner. The hospital bags have been packed and are sitting by the door. The big day is almost here.

Now, you’re afraid that you’ve forgotten everything you learned about childbirth in your classes. What positions are best? What about breathing exercises? Your partner doesn’t remember either, and you both start panicking. But never fear – that’s why we’re here! We’ve been there! To help, we also spoke with 20 couples (and drew on our own personal experience) about how dads can be involved during childbirth and have put together this guide for you. Read on for more!

1. Review birthing positions and breathing exercises as the “big day” approaches, and make suggestions and reminders to your partner during labor. Although most of the couples we spoke to told us that they completely forgot the breathing exercises while in the delivery room, it’s still helpful to review them, as well as different positions for birth, and when to push (even if the doctor/nurse will instruct you on all of these). Watch YouTube videos on this while you’re waiting for baby to come, and you’ll feel more confident and better prepared.
2. Massage your partner’s hips, back, and arms during labor. Childbirth is hard on a woman’s body – it’s called “labor” for a reason! If you and your partner are doing a natural birth, she’ll probably be constantly changing positions, which strains the arms and legs. Dads can help here by massaging their partner’s hips and arms when they get sore.
3. Help your partner relax. Another obvious fact: giving birth is stressful! Dads can help their partner relax by speaking in a quiet, soothing voice, holding their partner’s hand, telling her what a great job she’s doing, or, sometimes, just by not saying anything at all.
4. Keep your partner cool during labor. Like any exercise, childbirth causes the body to heat up! Help keep your partner cool by feeding her ice chips. Ask your hospital in advance if they provide hand-held fans – if not, include one in your hospital bag and fan her during during labor.
5. Make a playlist. Music will help distract and calm your partner down, so, while you still have a chance, make a playlist of her favorite songs and give it to the nurses to play during labor.
6. Have mints/gum ready! Chalk this one up under the same category as the playlist, which is, “things you should do so your partner doesn’t have to think about it.” Mints and/or gum are helpful to have *after* the birth, when you’re still in the hospital and receiving visitors.
7. Be present and encourage your partner. This was the most common piece of advice we received from the moms and dads we spoke to. Childbirth is a challenge, and it’s no wonder that dads have been present in delivery rooms for the last 40 years. Your presence and support is needed during this time. Above all else, be there and be supportive and encouraging throughout the entire process.

We also wanted to add some words of advice for couples who undergo C-sections (whether it’s scheduled or an emergency procedure). Dads can still be involved in both situations. With a C-section birth, it’s important to be there and hold your partner’s hand (if she asks). If it’s an emergency C-section, it’s possible that this may not be the ideal birth experience your partner wanted. Try to reassure her and tell her that the most important thing is that the baby will be safe and healthy. Also, since C-sections require total anesthesia from the waist down, your partner may not be able to walk for a few hours afterwards, so you will likely be the first one who changes the baby’s diaper and cares for the baby while your partner recovers and regains sensation in her legs.

Do you have any advice for expecting dads, and how they can be involved during childbirth? Let us know in the comments!